An Ode..., Keepin It Real

GodMommy

I’m going to be a god mother soon. One of my best friends is pregnant and she and her partner thought of me to be gifted this responsibility. Although I am sensitive in nature I am also very shy with strong emotions like this. When I am in a moment where I am expected to cry it is hard for me to have that emotion because I am aware that it is expected. So I often find myself feeling bad later that I didn’t cry at my surprise birthday party or at my fathers funeral. It’s not because these moments don’t mean anything and it isn’t that I’m fighting against expressing them. I’m just…shy! I admit I felt this same guilt when I was asked to be a godmother.

Which lead me to thinking about whether or not people really know how much I cherish this gift of responsibility. It got me thinking about what kind of godmother I want to be. What things I want to teach her and what my role in her life would look like. Although I do want to be the hands on, be at every single recital, performance, graduation. I also want to be the godmother that can be her friend. I want to be a safe space for her to vent, and be free of every expectation she’s given along her lifespan.

In a lot of ways, this is also the type of mother I want to be to my natural children (when I have some). I want to be the kind of mom that says things that are so profound you end up using them as a guide for your life 50 years after I’m gone. I want to be the kind of mom who is known to love first and ask questions later. The type of mom who will make sure your belly stays full and your face always hurts from laughing. I want to be the mom that is one in a million.

When I was younger, my biggest worry with becoming a mom was would I be able to convince my kids to love Jesus? Would I set a good enough example that would make them WANT to follow Christ. I know so many people I grew up with who have little or no attachment to Christ because they had parents who faked the funk or put on a show and weren’t very Christ-like. It turned them off and I get it! Some of the parents were so ‘saved’ you couldn’t have a normal conversation without them turning it into a prayer meeting. Some of them were so concerned with ‘looking like a Christian’ they forgot to become one for real!

Because of this, I shocked myself when my first thoughts of my goddaughter was not whether or not she would know God, it was…will she like me? Will I be able to inspire her to live in her purpose! Or would she just see me as another lame adult? I was thinking about the people both famous and not famous that have made an impact on my life…how did the adults in their lives prepare for them to come into the world? What prayers did they pray? What things did they buy or do? Did they know that they were giving birth to greatness? Did Dr. Stanley Ann Dunham know she was giving birth to the first black president? Did Mooi Leslie know her son would invent a super phone? Did Sallye Davis know one of the kids whose butts she used to wipe would be a founder of the black suffragist movement? Did Annie Mae Cook know that while putting her son in the Sunday choir he would take what he learned there to become the King of Soul music? And how the heck did Mary prepare to breastfeed the risen Savior?

All the women listed above were average at best. Meaning, they were forgettable in the larger picture of history. They did the best with what they had and raised their children with all the knowledge they had. I’m positive that there was some things they weren’t able to teach their kids and so God put other people in their lives that helped their children grow up to be Barack Obama, Ryan Leslie, Angela Davis, & Sam Cooke. Names we all recognize and admire. So that leads me back to my baby girl and the role God wants me to play in her life.

As I often do when I am thinking, I began to write. Pen to paper, heart on a sleeve. I poured out my heart and wrote down topics I want to pray over her and declarations I want to establish now. Even before she gets here, I want her to feel the greatness that she is sure to do. Call me bias but something about her makes me feel like she’s going to be the one to change the world. I can sense in my spirit that she has a specific assignment here on Earth and it’s going to be big. Something in my spirit tells me that the prayers I’m praying now for her are gonna be answered 20-30 years from now. I feel like a Gardner/Farmer preparing for harvest. They never can tell exactly the amount of the harvest but they always prepare as if its their biggest one yet.

So although I have and am a part of the lives of many children I care deeply for, I just KNOW this little girl is different. So my daily prayer for her is this:

“God, do in her what should be done. Raise her by Your standard and not the changing standard of this world. Protect her mind and body from those things and people that seek to dim her light and kill her spirit. Create a safe space for her to flourish and grow into a mighty oak. Establish her path and use me as physical representation of Your love for her. If the world isn’t big enough to fit her…make it bigger!” -Amen

Truth is, I have no clue what it will take to help raise a giant. But I do know that right now before she is here. My prayers are what she and her mother need more than ever. So, I will be on my face in prayer for them both until I’m given further instructions.

I know usually I try to give you, the reader something to take and apply to your own life. And to be honest, I don’t really have much in this lesson other than play your role. With whomever is in your life play your role. It may not come with a fancy title or benefits, money or accolades just like the unnamed people who helped raise President Obama. BUT how you play that role (whatever it is) matters. Do it to the best of your ability. Do it with fervor, integrity, & resilience because it could mean the difference between being a world changer or being average for someone else.

k, good talk

-J

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