When I turned 20, my godmother said to me, “Janae, your twenties are for you to be selfish.”

At the time, I only had a shallow understanding of her concept. I thought she was talking about having fun, being young, and enjoying quasi-adulthood. And yes those things were included in her advice but it wasn’t until this year that I understood what exactly being selfish means.

When we are children, our world is controlled mainly by our guardians/parents. Much of what we consume physically, emotional, & spiritually comes directly as a result of their physical and emotional state. Into our adolescence, we quickly come to terms with the fact that life happens and there are something that will happen that no amount of preparation or education can prevent.

Selfishly Twenty is when you aren’t just selfish with the few things in life you can control (like life experiences) but also with things we have no control over (like time). Now that I’m halfway through my twenties, having a quarter century crisis, & experiencing life in a whole new way, i can confidently say I’ve been selfless and it’s time I be selfish.

I’ve unconsciously conditioned myself to hate the word ‘no’ like it’s a four letter word when in reality it’s JUST a response. It’s just as neutral as the word ‘yes’. What makes the word ‘no’ negative is the prospective of the person on the receiving end. We (myself included) need to recondition ourselves to receive no as an opportunity for another Avenue in life, not the ending of a life journey.

I refuse to guilt myself any further into situations, relationships, or places that aren’t good for me just because I hate saying no. Instead, Im committing to telling someone no every week. Instead of making up reasons why I can’t come or praying plans get cancelled, my response will be no. It doesn’t mean I don’t love someone or don’t want to be around them. It’s just means what they’re currently proposing is not something I want to be apart of.

So what are the things in your life you need to be selfish with? Is it your money, alone time, spirituality? Or maybe it’s your career, family, or friends. Even if you’re not in your twenties, there area still areas you need to choose you & your happiness over anything else. Drop a comment and tell me how selfish you’re gonna be.