An Ode...

The Queen in Me

Hey girl hey!

That’s what Im gonna say. When we meet up in Heaven and I get to hug your neck. I’ll try not to hug it too tight but I can’t make any promises because I know I’m gonna miss you. I’m gonna kiss you. I’m gonna hold your hand while you show me around. You’re gonna tell me all the times I messed up while you were gone and how you would’ve handled it. And I’ll listen. I’ll listen closely and sincerely because I’ve missed you harassing me & I know you’ve missed doing it. When you’re finished we’ll both smile because we both know you just like the sound of your own voice. 

Hey girl hey!

That’s what you said. The day you bust into my quiet space ready to distract me from the paper I was writing or problem I was trying to solve. You’d throw something at me or make a sly comment that would make us both laugh. We’d end up talking about our day or funny stuff we found on social media and sometimes about life in general. You’d listen when I started talking about something I was passionate about and ask me a follow up question when I realized I was dominating the discussion so I wouldn’t feel dumb.

Hey Girl,

I know it took me awhile for me to fall in love but I’ve always loved you. I always wanted to make you happy and make you proud. The smile you give will always be the prettiest diamond in the world. You taught me so much in such a short amount of time. You are Black History and if I only had 200+ fingers to count the lessons I learned. Instead I’ll count to ten.

Onelove for everyone no matter the color, the education, or the physical characteristics. Twoheartbeats some called daughters but you called us life lines. Three ways of saying I love you; physical affirmation, feeding you, & giving me unwarranted advice. Four big hugs before you tell me all the things I need to fix to be successful. Fivemistakes you didn’t judge me for. Six Bible verses to stay on the straight and narrow. Seven prayers to God to interceed on my behalf. Eightsongs to sing at the top of our lungs just slightly off key. Ninecompliments to hype my head before heading out to slay. Ten pictures of us at home in our tiny apartment that were never taken but are physically burned in my head because when I think about what type of woman I am and what type of woman I will be, I can’t help thinking I want to be EXACTLY like Queen Janice Lee!

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Rest in Peace, live in my heart Mommy

k, good talk


25 thoughts on “The Queen in Me

  1. Beautifully written by a Queen! Your mom was a beautiful queen with a smile that lit up a room.She was a lovely spirit She loved you & Kendra very much!!! And she was loved very much by her sisters n brothers, neices, newphews, aunts n uncles, cousins and friends. That speaks volumes about her. I’m sure you and Kendra will continue to do her proud. We ALL miss her!!! We love her and she will forever be in our hearts.

    Rest in Heavenly Peace Janice (Dirty Red)!

  2. Amazing!! Sorry for your lost. May she rest in paradise and continue to guide and lead you on . My prayers are with you and your family. 🙏🏾

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